We are all just _______________

 I wish my mom would punish me and send me away to a deserted island with tiptop necessities so that I could do my work without any distractions.
I dreamt about Illyssa 3 days in a row,and it includes us playing netball during P.E
I listened to one of the funniest thing I've ever heard for a long time today,distractions.
*on pet society*
me: omg,I can't feed my pet junkfood! its not good! I need to get fruits!
nana: it's just graphic motion kak.
me: SHUT UP! *mumble to myself*
nana: why are you talking to yourself?
me: SHUT UP I'M TALKING TO MY PET.
*
and now I'm freaking out because I got mountains of stuff to be done that I didn't know had to be done.
I'm glad,and freaking out.

 Not feeling school at all,well,most of it.BLAGH.
I don't know if its due to the postponed classes which destroys some
of my very important plans due to the missing lecturer.or...
Classes which gives us assignments which I feel are completely pointless,
working its way to failure,shitty results,nothing to learn from.correction,for now,just 
a class.
Seems that the things which they are trying to feed me are losing its substance.
I hate it,I need to do something on my own damn it.
stop complaining and just swallow it down.

 

the bass makes me feel so,so good.
17 HOURS TO SUBMISSION OMGWTFBBQSAUCE.
i miss austin :(

 exactly a year and 1 1/2 hours ago,i woke up in the exact pyjamas.
i was awoken by my mom storming into my room and saying
'wardah,wake up! wake up wardah! what happen to your father.......'
'huh?what you mean what happen?',then the last few minutes,then the last words
i told him i love him so much,so,so much and i can never repay whatever he did to me.
then i lost my father due to cancer,after 4 months battling it,i lost my bestfriend,my critique,
my national geographic watching partner,
my award ceremony audience,my driver who picked my up if i finish my school late,my mentor,
my support when he took a day off from work to drive me to NAFA to take my entrance test,i lost
a portion of me. i don't know where the voice was coming from,but inside me it was saying
'it's going to be alright wardah.'

and the year move on,everyday is like waiting for someone to get home from work.but always didn't
get the chance to bump in.everyday.i felt like i've lost a huge portion of my support system.and i struggle.
random evening with my mom crying,i would just have to fight back my tears because i want to show to her
that i i can be okay.

a year later,i'm getting ready to fly to austin,leaving this sunny island to see more things,i dont know what
'more things' means,but still.i want this break,even if it means this 4'11" asian girl would have to fly all the
way there alone.(no worries,fantastic family waiting there)
love your family people,you'll never know if you could wake up the next day and still watch tv with your loved ones.
as for my case,the 4 months battle watching cancer eat my dad away has taught me that we are extremely
capable as a human.do not give up.i don't know if it has made me a 'stronger' person,but it certainly has taught me 
the values of love especially at times where morphine,wheelchair,chemotheraphy are all materials that
only numbs(not heal/can't heal),all we need is love,really.


if you could only see how sahira hugs me and insist i play
elmo song and dance with her now.i miss you bapak,and i will continue
to miss you,and it will never stop.

OMG,YAY LOR!
i might be too late for SXSW,
but aywayssssssssss.
heee heee

the time of the year where i am :
tired mentally,tired physically,panic,excited,happy,shocked.

i miss everybody.
although some disappoints me.
ok bye,i'm gg to watch lilo & stitch now.
ras ' i like tom yam,tom yam's nicer'
me 'no,i like the bland chicken.......i'm a very boring person'
ras 'yah...(smth,smth),spice up your life......(did a little dance)'
-
the mona lisa smile...
the mona lisa smile...
the fucking mona lisa smile...

 "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who
mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr Seuss

i wanted to get tons of work done today,but my brain cooked himself,
killing all the cells.7 more days to assessment,mfk,thats a hell lot of time.
7 x 24 = 168 hours to be precise.